Well, that was a refreshing little blog-cation! If by refreshing you mean disease-ridden and sleep-deprived. Which I do. We spent Xmas week in Knoxville, TN with my family, and while it was lovely being in a normal climate again, and seeing my sibs, and watching all the kids play together, it was also possibly the most sickly vacation I’ve ever been on, and that is saying something. Over the course of a week and a half, we experienced:
- two burst eardrums
- two urgent care visits
- one single ear infection and one double ear infection
- one case of strep
- three penicillin prescriptions
- one case of (possibly car-sickness induced) puking
- two bouts of bronchitis
- one 103+ fever
- and zero nights of uninterrupted sleep
And that was just in my immediate family! As one of my friends observed, it was like some kind of fucked-up Twelve Days of Christmas. I can now definitely state that I prefer the traditional version.
However, we ate like kings, and we played many card games, and sang carols and engaged in other festive family bonding activities. AND I got some grade-A loot, which, let’s face it, is the whole point. (I’m kidding! Kind of!) I had a red letter year, in that I got both a handbag:
AND shoes:
AND Jewelry:
PLUS Chad actually got me a real, honest-to-god, hardcover book. Like, that takes up shelf space and everything. (My book addiction may or may not occasionally be a bone of contention in my marriage. Particularly when we have to move said books. Hypothetically.)
So I basically made out like a bandit, which I feel is a totally authentic way to celebrate this time of year, in that I need some goddamn material pleasures to get me through the months of January, February and March without going sui- and/or homicidal. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it here before, but I HATE WINTER. I mean: HAAAAAAATE. And I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but Minnesota is a helluva stupid state to live in when you hate winter. I have many friends for whom this is a joyous time of year, filled with wholesome pleasures like ice-skating, skiing, sledding, snowman-building and hot-chocolate drinking. And I say bully for them. But here’s the thing: I haven’t skated or skied since about the 6th grade, I hate sledding, and having enough snow for snowmen means that the outdoor landscape might as well have serotonin-reuptake accelerator written all over it, which is my mind-bogglingly nerdy way of saying winter can SUCK IT. (Hot chocolate, being neither cold nor white, is still OK with me.) So while other, admittedly healthier, people are out enjoying all that the season has to offer, I will be indoors, preferably in a reclining chair, wrapped in multiple afghans, reading a novel, while stroking the soft leather of my purse and occasionally stopping to admire the sheen of my shoes and necklace. Happy sodding New Year.
