Uses to which the Hatchling put a single piece of tissue paper over the course of an hour this evening:
1. Baby blanket for her doll.
2. Pillows for her head and her doll’s body as they lay on the carpet in a meditational pose. (Me: “What are you doing, honey?” The Hatchling: “I just wistening to my music.”
3. Changing pad/diaper, again for her doll.
4. Drape for Daddy’s foot.
5. Toreador-style hankie to wave in the air.
6. Thing to stuff up her shirt, look in the mirror, and try to find it again.
7. Sculptural material for found art project involving carefully removing tiny shreds of the tissue, balling them up, and placing/stacking them around/on the bigger sheet.
8. Elephant Man-style face mask, looking through the holes torn for the art project above.
And I probably missed some uses. I mean, christ: why did we spend all that money on awesome birthday presents when we could’ve just gotten her a damn box of kleenex?