Category Archives: Uncategorized

… to Bioethics Forum. Should be a good site for more in-depth commentary about biomedical-ethical issues. (Hopefully they’ll be adding permalinks and actual comments pages soon.)

Added incentive: It’s possible that if you scroll down to the post titled “To Be a Mother,” the author of that post might be related to me (and a regular ASS commenter), and I might be referred to in the post. Just sayin’.

(x-posted from After School Snack)

So we had our childbirthing class this weekend – an all day session on Saturday. It was a long day (we had to be there at 8 am! on a weekend! bastards!), but we were both glad we went. First of all, it was just nice to get a tour of the facilities and actually see where we’ll be having the baby. But beyond that, I think we both left the class feeling a little more confident that we can do this. Not that there’s any other option, obviously, but I’d been feeling pretty freaked out about the pain and the mess and just the whole ordeal. Sort of a massive looming generalized anxiety. I’m still not looking forward to it, but having seen the videos and talked with the nurses and done the breathing, etc., I sort of feel more competent to complete the task without totally losing it.

It’s funny, really, because in general I’m pretty at home with my body. I have definite weight-related issues – can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel overweight, even when I wasn’t – but I’m pretty graceful/coordinated and years of acting training and theatre work have made me pretty familiar with how my body moves and reacts to things. So, I wish it were smaller, but by and large I’m pretty OK with my bod. But this pregancy – particularly at the beginning – has been an excercise in un-knowing my body. Not knowing what’s “normal,” not knowing how it will react to a given circumstance, and not feeling like I have much control over it one way or the other. As a squab, I’m not particularly obsessed with controlling my body – like, I can go with the flow, you know? – but pregnancy has been an almost daily assault of new sensations, most of them unpleasurable, and has made it difficult to be as comfortable in my own skin as I’m accustomed to being. I know this isn’t how lots of women experience pregnancy; my mom, for one, LOVED being pregnant. (Thanks for setting up that expectation, mom!) And I have many friends who’ve found it largely positive, too. Me, not so much. The other day a friend of mine made a passing reference to the “joys of pregnancy” and I let out a huge guffaw before I realized they weren’t making a joke. Oops.

So this whole process had been making me more and more anxious about the birth itself. I mean, let’s face it: my body hasn’t responded particularly well to pregancy. What if the response to birth is equally bad? People would ask me if I was planning on a “natural” childbirth, and I’d make laughing remarks about how I’m not interested in being a martyr, not into macho posturing, hook me up with whatever drugs they’ve got, etc., etc. But after the childbirth class, I’m not so sure. I mean, I think I can do this. And I’m kind of curious to see how long I can go without drugs. I’m not ruling them out or anything, since I have no idea how painful I’ll find it, but I’m thinking *maybe* I could go without. (Plus that video of the woman getting the epidural totally squicked me out. Ew.) At any rate, I’m not so scared of it anymore, which is good. I know I’ve got some mommies reading this blog – any words of wisdom? Any of you do “natural” childbirth? Anyone have any comparisons of drugged vs. non-drugged? I don’t promise to take anyone’s advice, but the more information, the better. Lay it on me.

Written live, posted late.

6:00 PM – Chris Connelly has a fat face. Does this bother anyone else? Also, Billy Bush needs to be taken out back and shot.

6:05 – OK, I LOVE Dolly Parton. Pretty in pink!

6:10 – Someone needs to tell Naomi Watts that when your dress is the same color as your skin and your hair, YOU LOOK WASHED OUT. I mean, this is a gorgeous woman and she looks unnoticeable. There’s just no reason for that.

6:12 – HELENA, NOOOOOO! Why the white shoes, why? Your dress is blue, your bag is (inexplicably) burgundy – white shoes are just icky! Just because your husband will always look worse than you ever could is no excuse.

Oooh, love Michelle Williams’ dress. Great color.

6:31 – Oh, is Terence Howard with his SON? How cute is that?

6:34 – So, Reese’s dress … not sure about it. Is it diva or frump? I’m sensing a high rating on the ruffle-o-meter, which is rarely a good thing. But I didn’t get enough of a glimpse to be sure. Anyone?

7:04 – Cute opening montage – Nice humorous homage to the previous hosts.

7:11 – Is that a bow on Charlize Theron’s shoulder or is she covering up some weird bulbous growth?

Awesome gay western montage. Love that!

Supporting Actor: Here we go. One of the toughest categories to predict … did I get it right? …. George Clooney! I was wrong! But good for him. He’s, like, the classiest guy in Hollyweird, and no one looks better in a tux. Also, I love a funny, pithy speech.

7:28 – Best Visual FX: Nice themed presentation by Stiller. Kong’s GOTTA get this one – no one else even came close. Yep. Kong it is. They should have a separate awards category for Andy Serkis.

7:32 – Ooh, Best Animated Feature. Love this category. Still not sure about Reese’s dress. Better than her Golden Globes fiasco, I guess. I called Wallace and Gromit, and so it is!! Yay! And they brought bowties for their statuettes! Ha!

See, the thing about Dolly is that she’s just so awesome. I mean, does anyone not like her? 9 to 5, Transamerica – I can’t think of a lot of country legends who’d proudly associate themselves with projects like that. And she just takes that huge Oscar stage with her tiny little self and OWNS it. Fuckin’ right on. Did I mention that my sister, who’s getting married in October, is having her dress designed by Dolly’s costumier? Doesn’t that fricking ROCK?

7:44 – Live Action Short – man, I have no idea on this one. I wish these got more publicity – they look cool. Martin McDonagh for Six Shooter – I wonder is that the same Martin McDonagh who’s the playwright? That would be cool.

Animated Short – I’m kind of over the whole having animated characters present the animated shorts award. It was cute the first time. Now … not so much. OK, I’ll pick the Moon and the Sun. Just ’cause I like the title. Woot! It won! This is how I maintain my 15+ accuracy – pure and total chance.

7:49 – Best Costume – OK, I’m calling this one for Geisha – it was a visual feast, and surely the most lush of all the nominees. See, there you go. The academy loves the really costumey costumes. Ooh, the costumer has a fabulous haircut, too. But like, whoa. Boring speech. Keep it short, lady, or they will play your ass off stage. You’re thanking the “People of Japan”?!!? WTF? Holy hubris.

7:58 – Will Ferrell and Steve Carell – these are the two funniest men in Hollywood, for real. They could read the phonebook and I would think it was funny. Now, Best Makeup – that’s a tough one. I wanna say Narnia … and I wanna be right!! Not that there was much to choose from. I mean, you know they’re not gonna give Star Whores a statue, and Cinderella Man is kind of over.

8:04 – Best Supporting Actress – I called it for Rachel Weisz, but this is often a surprise category. I wish Catherine Keener would get it – she is totally awesome. But I don’t think this is her year. Rachel gets it! She’s as pregs as I am – I can’t even imagine navigating the red carpet in this state. Nice dress, too – takes advantage of her pregnancy hoots. Dude, I think she just blanked out on ½ her speech! She’s been thanking her husband profusely at all the other awards shows, but she missed him tonight. Of course, with that crap music playing in the background, who can blame her?

8:13 – Either Lauren Bacall is drunk or she forgot her contacts. What the hell? This is just awkward.

Nice Best Actress commercials – I was wondering if Colbert would make an appearance.

8:20 – Best Documentary Short – another one I’m totally guessing on. I’ll go with the one about Darfur. And I’ll be wrong. Oh, well. Who the hell is Norman Corwin? Am I so gauche for not knowing? If I am, I’d guess I’m with most of the audience members, who are looking pretty blank.

Best Documentary Feature – yeah, Charlize looks really awful. Bad dress AND bad hair. Most uncharacteristic. OK, I’m gonna vote for Murderball on this one. Screw the penguins. Ah, fuck. Penguins won, I’d guess because more people saw/had heard of it. What the hell, freaky French award winners! Who brings stuffed animals on stage? OK, they’re pretty cute.

8:25 – J. Lo., J. Lo., J. Lo. There’s a difference between being pleasantly tan and looking like you’ve actually been bronzed. Get a grip, woman.

8:34 – Best Art Direction – This one’s always hard for me to call … it’s kind of like best set, only more so … Good Night and Good Luck? Or, no – Memoirs gets its second award. Shoulda known. The academy has been big on Asian themes lately. Ah, well.

8:46 – Original Score. All I can say is, it better not fricking go to John Williams. Seriously, that man does not need any more damn Oscars. Plus, all his scores sound the same! Let’s go with Brokeback on this one. It was a great score, and it’s the only one I found myself humming afterwards. Woot! It won! Suck on that, Williams!

9:02 – Yeah, when I think “epic” I definitely think of Grease, Mary Poppins and Back to the Future. I mean, ok, there are sure some films you should see on a big screen, but Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta in skintight pants discoing to “You’re the one that I want” does not qualify.

9:04 – Sound Mixing. I’m thinking this one belongs to Kong. Just more to do there than in the other films. Yes! I rule!

9:21 – that marquis they have at the top of the stage has kind of been bugging me all night, but I must say seeing it broadcast “It’s hard out here for a pimp” to the entire tuxedoed audience makes it all worthwhile.

Best Original Song – I gotta hope this one goes to Dolly. You KNOW she’d have the best acceptance speech! Oh, damn. Well, I hate to be wrong, but it’s actually pretty damn cool that “Pimp” won – that’s the first time a hip-hop song has won an Oscar, right?

Sound Editing – Mr. Squab: “Jennifer Garner must still be breastfeeding.” Ah, yeah. That’s certainly what it looks like. We say Kong. And Kong it is.

9:32 – The in memoriam section always gets me with at least one person I didn’t know was dead. Like, did I know Sandra Dee was dead? I don’t remember knowing …

9:40 – Best Foreign Film. I called Tsotsi. Purely because I like saying the name. Will it work? Yes! My linguistic fetishes pay off once again!

Film Editing – Let’s say Crash. Ah, yeah, bitches. I can call ’em.

9:45 – Best Actor. I picked Philip Seymour Hoffman for this one. But it’s a strong category … Yes! Hoffman wins! About time! What a sweet speech. I love a man who gives props to his mama. You could tell the other nominees were pleased Hoffman won, too – he’s such an actor’s actor. I have friends who’ve worked with him in NY, and everyone says he’s a sweetheart. Which makes it even nicer.

9:56 – Cinematography. I think Brokeback’s got this one – but no! Memoirs wins again! Boy, I never thought they’d get three Oscars tonight. Especially in such a strong category. Well, damn. I may be below my average this year.

Best Actress – this one’s tight between Reese and Felicity. I called it for Reese. Drumroll … Yes! Nailed it! Very sweet speech, as well. Hope Felicity gets one soon, though.

10:10 – Dude, Dustin Hoffmann is totally tripping. Love it. Best Adapted Screenplay – for real, this one HAS to be Brokeback. Whew. And so it is. Whoa. Gotta give props to McMurtry for having the cojones to wear jeans to the Oscars. He kind of carries it off, too! Ms. Ossana – oh, so serious. You just won an Oscar, baby! Live it up a little!

Best Original Screenplay – I think I called this one for Crash, and particularly since Dillon didn’t win, I think that’s the strongest contender. Yep – they got it. Good for them. Oh, major props for the Brecht quote!

10:20 – Best Director. Gotta be Ang Lee. Woot. Huh – I totally thought he’d won before. Best Picture – Damn, does anyone have more charisma than Jack Nicholson? He just soaks it up, too. WHOA! Crash wins! Holy fucking upset! I thought Brokeback was a shoe-in! Wow. Well, slap my ass and call me Sally. I’m kinda bummed out by that, actually.

Summary: Sort of a quiet year. Jon Stewart was a good host, but tamer than I’d thought he would be. No really outrageous outfits, no outrageous speeches, only one semi-surprise award … little bit boring. I called 16 categories correctly, so my average still stands. So there’s that. Feeling a little post-Oscar letdown. Where’s my Governor’s Ball?

1. Nausea seems to be a little better. Probably just a result of being over tired and under-unpacked.

2. Birthing class this weekend! Mr. Squab thinks it will be a waste of time. I’m bringing tissues for when we watch the birthing video. Damn hormones.

3. Oscars are this Sunday!! Woot. See my predictions for the winners here. I’ll also (probably) be liveblogging the ceremony, so tune into the Snarky Squab for all your cutting fashion remarks.

4. We just got DirectTV. Mr. Squab, who took today off work, reports that the DVR is “totally awesome” and he’s already downloaded Ocean’s 12 and Alien vs. Predator. Yeeeeeah. We may need to have an intervention.

I must admit that while I have some philosophical problems with the hyperpersonalization of fetuses in this culture, I am quite fond of ultrasounds. With the GD and the initial hypertension and the restricted diet and the insulin, etc., etc., it’s very rewarding to get to see the little squirt in there on occasion, and know that the hard work I’m doing to keep us healthy is paying off. I had my final major ultrasound yesterday (32 weeks and counting!), and the perinatal doctor said I got an A+. The baby is right on track, size-wise, so keeping the blood sugar under control has been working. Hoss is currently about 4 lbs, 5 oz (in my head I still pronounce it “libs” and “ozzes”), kicking up a storm, growing hair (!) and generally doing all the things a soon-to-be hatchling should do. He/she has moved into a head down position, which is good, and has the right amount of amniotic fluid to swim around in and all that good stuff. Even cooler, though, was how much more like a baby the scan was this time – the bones were much easier to see and we could tell that Hoss’s cheeks and feet are getting chubby. Cool stuff. But never mind me, I know you want the pictures. Here are the three best ones:

Pretty cute, no?

Well, we survived. We’re both sleep-deprived and the house is a total chaos-zone, but everything seems to be intact. We spent the vast majority of the weekend back at the apartment, transporting the stuff we didn’t get packed in time for the movers and cleaning – with the able assistance of long-suffering family members, thank goodness. We’re now completely out of the apartment, so it will be nice to focus just on one abode. Random thoughts on the move:

– Now that we’re in the house I can’t imagine how we fit all of our stuff in the apartment. We have so much stuff!We’ll easily fill all the new space available to us. The nice part will be having regular, easy access to possessions that had to reside in storage for most of the past 3+ years, just because there was no room for them. I’ve rediscovered lots of wedding presents that I forgot we even had.

– I started thinking about where I’ve lived and how long, and realized that I’d lived longer in the apartment we just moved out of than anywhere else since I was ten years old. Additionally, if Mr. Squab and I stay in our new house for more than 5 years, I’ll have beat my all time record for time living in one residence. I’d never really thought that through before, but now that I realize it, it strikes me as completely insane. Who moves that much? Admittedly, a lot of those moves were between the same two houses (I switched between my mom and my dad’s houses every year during jr. high and high school) – but that’s still packing up all my stuff and carting it to a different place. No wonder I crave a sense of stability.

– The first section of the new house to be completely unpacked and set up: the bar. Ah, yeah.

– Dude. We got moved by pirates. We hired the movers on the recommendation of some friends, and they were great, but instead of the buff young lads I was hoping for expecting, we got three ancient, grizzled men, one of whom had a glass/wandering eye, another of whom had a fetching set of gold teeth and an earring, and the last of whom must’ve been close to 70 and had the red nose and beery aroma of a lifetime commitment to self-ossification. They were nice as could be and very careful of our possessions, but Yarrr! They only needed parrots and a jug of rum to complete the picture.

– Best new house moment to date: hearing Mr. Squab thumping around upstairs and thinking “man, we have some loud upstairs neighbors at this new place” and then remembering! We don’t have upstairs neighbors! It’s just us! Woohoo!

Pictures will be posted as soon as we’ve assembled the rooms into some remote cousin of an orderly abode. In other words, don’t hold yer breath.

Moving day is tomorrow, starting bright and early when the movers arrive at 8-bloody-30 in the AM. Gah. I forecast a 99% chance of exhaustion and grumpiness.

More to the point, I dunno when our internet access will be up, so posting may be light-to-nonexistent for the next couple of days. But then we’ll have pictures! If we survive!

… office chairs are really fucking uncomfortable when you’re 31 weeks pregnant.

But getting up and walking around: even more so.

There’s not much worse than being someone who is used to helping others and not being able to even help yourself. I hate not being able to do more packing and getting the house ready in preparation for our move this Friday. Even though I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, that I’m doing my “job” just by growing this small person inside me, it still just … sucks. But since I can’t do very much, I feel oh, so very, very lucky to have such a nice family and such lovely friends to help out. Just in the past week:

– one of my sisters donated an entire week of her vacation time to getting the house cleaned, painted, and ready for us to move into;

– my stepmom and two sisters came over to our apartment, asked me to point out what could be packed in the kitchen, made me go to bed and take a nap, then packed up about 1/2 the kitchen, brought it over to the new house, lined the cupboard shelves, and put it all away so we could reuse the boxes;

– two dear friends donated 1/2 their President’s Day holiday to come over and help Mr. Squab pack up the rest of the house (I had to work). All that’s really left is the knick-knacks and our clothes and food.

This is love. And what’s even nicer is that they all say “thank you” when they’re done! As in, “thanks for letting us come over and help!” How do you respond to that? (Mr. Squab offers “you can pay us later.”) I honestly have no idea what we’d have done without them. No, actually that’s not true – we’d both have been beyond exhausted and one of us would have been pretty weepy. Thank goodness for family, actual and honorary.

Why, when you abbreviate refrigerator, is it spelled “fridge?” There’s no “d” in the original word, so why is there one in the abbreviation?

Nerdy Enquiring minds want to know.