I got nothin’. The sickness is past, thank goodness, and we are back to being rascally toddlers again. I’m trying to get some writing done. Emphasis on “trying.” I enjoyed the Oscars. Aaaaaand … yeah. That’s all I got. But here, watch this:
And then you might want to get one of these.
Also, Emma Thompson is such a fucking GODDESS.
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Posted in politics, Pop Culture, random tidbits, weighty matters
OK, this has already been posted everywhere, but on the off-chance that you haven’t seen it yet, SEE IT NOW:
(If you haven’t seen the Obama video of which this is a spoof, you can watch that here.)
Jelly Man Kelly
This is the Hatchling’s current favorite YouTube video, and I can see why. I mean, James Taylor is always a good choice, and the crazy enthusiasm of the kids as they join in is pure TV gold.
A Loaf of Bread …
If you were born in the 70s, chances are this one is embedded somewhere deep in your reptilian brain. I have to say, the animation looks much weirder as an adult than it did as a kid – but in a very cool way. Who knew I was so avant-garde in my tastes at such a young age?
I just saw the news that Madeleine L’Engle has died. I absolutely devoured her books, starting at about 10 years old. I can’t imagine having made it through Jr. High and High School without them – they made me feel OK about not fitting in, and helped me to think big thoughts about big stuff: morality, love, death, religion. I still go back and reread her stuff occasionally, and I look forward to passing the books along to the Hatchling when she gets old enough. L’Engle lived a long, fruitful, interesting life and I imagine she was ready to meet her maker. But I sure am grateful she leaves behind such a large body of work.
(x-posted at After School Snack)
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Posted in Pop Culture
Sorry for the lack of postage this week. Just haven’t had the gumption to put anything in blogular form. Instead, how ’bout some bullets?
– Took the Hatchling for her very first visit to Urgent Care on Labor Day. Considering she’s almost 17 months old, I’d say that’s not too bad. The cause: we suspected that she dislocated her elbow while Mr. Squab was swinging her a bit too enthusiastically by the arms. In the course of diagnosing the problem over the phone with the doctor, they told us to extend her arm and turn her palm upright to see if that hurt. It did, all right, but it apparently ALSO fixed the problem, because by the time we had her signed in at the Urgent Care clinic she was running around the waiting room entertaining all the kids who were actually ailing by smiling, saying “HI!” in her usual enthusiastic manner, twisting, going down on all fours, balancing on her head and lifting one leg in the air, etc. Of course, we still had the doctor take a look at her, but she was totally fine, the little bugger.
– The insomnia seems to be getting better, slowly. I’ve gone to sleep no later than 1 am for the last three nights in a row, which is a damn sight better than the 3:30, 4:30, and 5:30 am times I was doing last week. Thank you, Atavan and Tylenol PM.
– It’s supposed to be in the 60s and 70s this weekend. WOOOT!
– I can’t believe I only got 80% on this. On the other hand, can you beat me?
80%
FilmCritic.com – Movie Reviews
Comments Off on Not dead; merely resting
Posted in Pop Culture, random tidbits, sleep
Tagged 16 months
Love this. LOVE IT.
- Cocodissimulatio Charm: Causes any food to taste like chocolate.
- Mucosus Recessum Charm: Causes nasal excretions to withdraw into a person’s nose.
- Ursinvenio Charm: When applied to a teddy bear or other stuffed animal, causes it to emit a loud growling sound when lost.
- Expecto Progenitum Spell: An elaboration of the Accio Summoning Charm, this spell causes one’s child to appear. Unclear at what distance this works or if it can operate using the Floo network or Portkeys.
- Fabulam Repetopeto Charm: Causes a book to read itself out loud over and over. Skillful wizards can make it inaudible to themselves.
- Vestitus Prudens Spell: Makes the victim appear to be wearing long pants and a sweater, although the person is unaware of the change.
- Immotus Spell: A lesser version of Petrificus Totalus, this stops victims from fidgeting, though they can still move slowly.
- Altitudo Monitio Charm: Causes flashing lights and a loud hooting sound to occur whenever the victim is near a dropoff like a staircase or cliff.
- Odoratum Desisto Charm: Removes the smell from an object.
- Dormitus Spell: Makes the victim fall asleep. An advanced spell, mastered by only a few.
Now if I could just find my wand …
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Posted in Funny Stuff, linkage, Pop Culture, quizzes and lists
This weekend was a study in contrasts, child-entertainment-wise. On Saturday, we went with some friends to Rosefest, a celebration of the founder of the Minneapolis parks system that took place in our old neighborhood. It was a little sad being back in the old nabe, because holy crap is it a nicer locale than our current one. I miss living there. But it was great fun to take the Hatchling to a community fair. There were a lot of attractions that she won’t enjoy until she’s older (those inflatable bouncy rooms, a dunk tank, etc.) but there were also some that were right up her alley. The big red fire engine was almost as fun to look at as the kids milling around. There were brats and roasted corn to eat, antique cars to look at, and free ice cream sandwiches. Holla! But the BEST thing was the pony rides. They had one of those live pony carousel things set up, and we went to check it out, figuring the girls would enjoy looking at the ponies even though they were too small to ride them. We stood there ogling and after a few minutes the man who was in charge came over and said “what’s the hold up?” We laughed and said we were just saying how sad we were that the girls were too little to have a ride. The man said “pshaw,” (possibly the only time I have actually heard that expression in real life) and said he’d had babies as young as 4 months old ride – parents could just walk along side, and it was no problem. Well. We weren’t about to let ourselves be outdone by stinking 4-month-olds, so both dads grabbed their girls and hoisted them up onto a pony. The babies were enchanted, both by the ponies and by being on a rid with big kids. It was pretty much teh awesome. Check out the Hatchling’s riding technique:
So that was the classic fun of the weekend – and I can’t WAIT to go to more fairs with the Hatchling as she gets older – but that evening we engaged in some entertainment that was a little more post-millennium. We’ve been enjoying the wonders of YouTube, specifically the gloriousness that is classic Sesame Street clips. As a first-generation Sesame Streeter, I of course look down on some of these upstart newfangled characters like Elmo. I was watching when Mr. Hooper was on, yo. When Mr. Snuffalupagus could only be seen by Big Bird, and no one else believed he was real. HARD CORE. I don’t think they even show 2/3 of the clips I grew up with anymore, but thanks to YouTube, I can still share them with the Hatchling. (Or spend hours watching them myself after she’s in bed. Whatever.) She’s still not old enough to appreciate most of them, but there are a few segments she totally gets a kick out of. This one is her hands-down favorite right now:
And, as a bonus, here’s MY favorite:
Enjoy!
And now it’s time for …. HUMP DAY MOVIE REVIEWS! Recently viewed by the squab and spouse:
300 – Holy, holy, holy crap, this was a bad movie. And let me be clear: it’s not that I hate CGI, or movies based on graphic novels, or any of that stuff. I thought Sin City was amazing and the previews for 300 made it look pretty cool. Sadly, the cool factor began and ended with the preview. It’s not just that the story had about as much relation to the actual events between the Spartans and the Persians as peeps do to actual food. I could take that – hell, I expected it. It’s the total disregard for moviegoers of even minimal intelligence. I mean: wtf was up with the King of Sparta sporting a Scottish accent thicker than William Wallace? You couldn’t get an accent coach? And why was the ruler of Persia represented as an eight-foot-tall, flamboyantly effeminate, Brazilian drag queen? How does that forward the plot again? Oh, that’s right: there IS no plot. There’s just computer-enhanced fight scene after computer-enhanced fight scene, interspersed with the occasional computer-enhanced sex scene just for titillation. (Speaking of which, could the sex scene between Leonidas and Queen Gorgo have been ANY LONGER? All right, already. You’re virile. You give your wife massive orgasms. OKAY.) By the time they got to the completely unironic visual of Leonidas dying in full-on Jesus on the cross pose, any remaining disbelief I was suspending came crashing down around my ears. I’m pretty sure I was actually giggling out loud for the final third of the movie. (Mr. Squab was not amused.) Final Grade: F, for Fucking-A don’t see this movie.
Blades of Glory: This one I was really looking forward to. I love me some Will Ferrell, and his movies are my kind of dumb-ass fun. And I’d say about 2/3 of the movie didn’t disappoint. I mean, Ferrell and Jon Heder are pretty damn hilarious on the ice, and Heder’s peacock routine alone is practically worth the price of admission. Plus, you get Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, who have to be two of the funniest people on the planet. But I’ll tell you what I didn’t like so much: the 1/3 of the movie where the one joke is how totally hilarious it is that TWO MEN would be skating together as if they were GAY or something! GAY!! Hahahaha! GAYZ ARE TEH FUNNIES. It’s homophobic, which is bad enough, but even worse: it’s just plain not funny. Like, boringly unfunny. (I had the same problem with Talledega Nights which I otherwise loved. The French jokes? Awesome. The gay ones? Dumb.) It’s too bad, and Ferrell is really past the point where you can kind of write it off as dumb frat boy instincts kicking in. When he’s on, he’s the funniest man alive except for possibly Steve Carell. So lose the stupid gay jokes, wouldja Will? You’re better than that. Aren’t you? Final Grade: B, for make it Better next time.
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Posted in Pop Culture
Getting your post-show cold a week early, that’s what. Normally, my body waits until the show is over to let go, but this time, it was all like, what? You have one day off this week? WELL DON’T PLAN ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES BEING HEALTHY.
Good times, Good times.
Now here’s something that’s truly awesome: The Bastard Fairies singing We’re All Going to Hell. (Note: not for the devout or easily offended. But the rest of you sickos will LOVE it.) Via Cynical Dad, who notes that you can download their whole album here.
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Posted in Pop Culture, trials and tribulations, updates
1. It’s officially the end of an era: last night, for the first time in 5 years, I correctly predicted fewer than 15 of the Oscar winners. (I got 13 right.) I blame the Hatchling, who is seriously hampering my ability to go out to the movies as much as I would like to, and who tries to eat my issues of Entertainment Weekly whenever she gets her hands on them. C’mon, kid! The Mamala has a reputation to maintain, here!
2. I thought the ceremony was pretty enjoyable, overall. No major wardrobe malfunctions (except WTF was up with Jennifer Hudson’s Star Trek bolero? Seriously, J Hud: those are not three words that should ever be used to describe a red carpet ensemble), and I was pretty happy with the winners in every category. I thought Ellen was a solid host, unfortunate white patent leather shoes aside, and the repeated views of Jack Nicholson’s newly shorn pate injected the necessary element of crazy into the proceedings. My only major beef: what the hell was UP with all the montages? And why the fuck were they all so damn long? I mean, you’re cutting off thank-you speeches at 10 seconds, but you can spend three minutes on a random “Amercian Film” montage that has even less coherence than Paula Abdul after a gulp of her “coke” on American Idol? That ain’t right.
3. Oh, and also, Pilobolus, which is one of my favorite dance troupes in the world, was completely wasted in those behind the screen silhouette-y bits. They are sooooo much cooler than that. I hope they got paid a bazillion dollars for the appearance and are using the money to fund a radical new dance piece or something.
4. I didn’t live-blog the proceedings because we had people over to watch the ceremony with us. Most of the invitees pussed out because of the rawther large snowfall we got yesterday, but several intrepid friends made it over, so we got to snark it up in company. We also enjoyed some delectable white trash comestibles, about which I shall blog more later.
5. Non Oscar-related tidbit: Does anyone know when kids are supposed to get their first molars? Because the Hatchling is starting to sprout hers, and it is making us both cranky. I thought they weren’t supposed to get those until like, 18 months or something. Am I just on crack?
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Posted in Pop Culture, random tidbits
